Failure Speaks

I hate you.
When I start your day, I love reminding you of how worthless you are.
Listen to me. No one should listen to you. You have nothing worthwhile to say.
I can find multitudes of reasons why you should not even get up…and I enjoy sharing them with you.
I thrive on your desire for pity. People should feel sorry for you because of your lack of worth.
I can turn the smallest setback into a lifelong issue if you just listen to me.
Remember when your friend looked at you like you didn’t know what you were doing? That was me who told you that they didn’t like you. The funny thing is that I told them to look at you like that to make sure that you didn’t take any more chances.
Remember when your boss asked you to take on that new task? That was me who told you not to do it because you wouldn’t gain anything from it. In fact, I was the one who told your boss not to ask you, but your boss didn’t listen to me.
I sometimes join up with your pride to make sure it doesn’t get damaged. Somebody has to protect it. After all, if you don’t have pride in yourself, you won’t be able to do anything, right?
When it comes down to it, I may be the best friend that you have. I save you from things like embarrassment, sadness, unnecessary responsibility, confrontation and a host of other uncomfortable things.
There is no reason to have uncertainty in your life when I can make your path certain. In fact, some people may even get our names mixed up and call you by my name because you start to have the same effect on them that I do.
That is fine with me. Many follow me because it is just easy to. Life is hard enough without looking for more difficulty.
Come and join me. Pretty soon, you can be just like me.

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Attack mode – Part 2

The element of control…why is it there?  Everyone likes to be in control.  Even when it seems that someone is out of control, the reasoning for their actions is for them to be in control.

Back to the chess game.  Stalemate.  Why? Because one has refused to move.  Reasoning?  The game or process is coming to a climax and the result will be evident:  Success …or failure.  Both of them are painful.  The latter means rejection.  The former means that the process will be encouraged again and the possibility of rejection will creep up again.

This stagnation is real with many.  It is a gap that is hard to fill.  The ability to risk rejection and succeed or fail is coveted but seemingly unreachable at times.

So what is the gap?  If someone were raised without a father or a child of divorce, the fear is sometimes too real to bear.  Taking the step into the unknown is stagnating… paralyzing…debilitating.  Whether acceptance or rejection, there will be rejection at some point if the process is allowed to continue.  So immobility is the choice.

It is the choice.  The act of not choosing is still a choice, and immobility is choosing to fail.

And waiting until there is not any other choice but action?  Is what?  Still failure or a forced effort?

Many entrepreneurs have talked about some of their best work coming at the time when that effort is forced.  Some of their greatest innovation coming to be when they had no other choice.  But should someone put themselves in a detrimental situation every time they desire great innovation?

There is a better way; in fact, many better ways but that “effort” can be engineered rather than forced.  Therein lies the immobility factor again, though.  Some people will plan themselves to the grave.

More to come…

Attack mode

What makes you feel capable of doing the things you set out to do?  Or do you just do it whether you feel capable or not?  Many times, when your back is up against the wall, like a wild animal outnumbered by its aggressors, you attack a need.  But is that what it takes to get you to act?  And once you do, do you feel that it was not done well efficiently?

Wouldn’t it work better if you acted, made mistakes, corrected them in a timely manner and continued until you got finished?  “Attacking” the issue with a calculated fervor before it has progressed to the point of expediency?

The problem can be procrastination,…fear, …laziness, …you name it.  It is something that is engrained in you and your psyche.  To get past it, you need to fight the urge to “not do it”.  Like quitting smoking or eating junk or drinking, it is an urge that is just as destructive.  If you don’t do it, you are putting yourself at the risk of going into attack mode to get it done.

This is part of posterity thinking, you know.  Remeber the chess game?  What happens in a chess game when one player  decides to wait, stall or just not move?  Well, if it is a timed game, that player loses.  But if it is not, the game stands still…the other player is at the mercy of the first…who is in control.

Do you see the issue?

More to come…

How are you?

Are you working for your posterity or your posterior?  On Sunday, are you looking at getting to the week…or through the week?  Are you thinking CYA or JOY?

 

Much of how you get things done depends on how your attitude.  I think back to one of my previous posts, The Precedent, and the manager of the restaurant I spoke to.  He was truly grateful and the effect of praising him and his team had a replicating effect as well.  Speaking to him a few weeks later, he said that after I left, he stopped his whole team and told them about it.  He said that this is what they had been striving for…to consistently serve a good product, and he was delighted to share the experience of customer satisfaction.

 

We just do not realize how far our influence goes?  People talk about making a good first impression.  It is sooooooo important.  People form an impression of you before they ever speak to you, if they ever do speak to you.  If you are dressed outside of the norm, your expression and attitude usually have to work harder to maintain a good first impression.

 

Now you may say that you don’t care what other people think of you and to some degree, that may be true.  But….how hard do you want to make life for yourself?  And to change your “first impression rating”, it takes some preparation.

 

I used to listen to and read different authors telling you how to be happy.  It would be a bit comical at times when I would hear them talk about making yourself happy.  It sounded artificial and forced and actually it was.  But it was more like rubbing menthol on sore muscles.  It started on the outside and worked its way in.  Your attitude is affected either by you or your surroundings.

 

Robert D. Smith may not have coined this phrase but when he said it, I remembered it.  He said, “I don’t sing because I’m happy.  I am happy because I sing”.  Sounds kinda dumb, right?  Well that “dumb” habit may mean the difference getting good service and bad.  Having a nice conversation or negative?  Getting a kiss from your spouse or a look?

 

Preparation for life is a part of life.  It is a paradoxical thing that keeps feeding itself and determines really HOW you are…

So…HOW are you?

Shift of Perspective

Sometimes when I think about the times that I grew up, I look at the adults that I became acquainted with and wonder about how they held up.  Now that I know some of what they were dealing with but to a lesser degree, it is surprising how they even kept a smile on their face.  Some people may even say that about us if they knew about our past and present.

inTheirShoesThe ridiculous part about this is that I am in their shoes…whether it be situation, age, maturity or some other perspective, I have reached or surpassed many of them in those areas of when I remember them.  And I can see, for the most part, how they kept going.  Yes, I can say that my faith in Christ did it all but that is not something that comes easily.  It comes easier to those who have been taught to believe…Yes, I said taught to believe.  If your parent or parents provided a good example of how to believe by doing so themselves, it comes easier for their influential recipients to believe because believing is not just an action, it is a habit…and a good one.

We could go back and research the psychological aspects of child-rearing and its implications if you want, but the plain and simple truth is that if your parents believed, your “habit of believing” will come easier.

So why think about this now…it goes back to my saying “Are you working for your posterity or your posterior?”  You are in that seat now.  The time for parental influence is most likely over.  It is time for you to be the influence. Even if you do not have children, it is time for you to start making good habits for others who watch you, to follow.  Think of how weird it would be to say “Nobody taught me how to act in public so I am just going to act wrong in public”…but that is how many of us act.  We didn’t get something in our childhood because our parent(s) didn’t have it either and therefore, we sit and exist in our waste.

If you do not start changing it now, you will go on…sitting…in your waste.  Look around you, your chair, desk, home, life.  It is an example of what is left from your existence.

looking through glassesOk, so stop looking at your “waste” and realize that it will be here long after you are gone.  It will be here for your children and your acquaintances and the world to see.  Those people that you remember from growing up…they left legacy for you.  What do you remember about them?  That is their product or waste, depending on how it affected you.  That is their gift that kept on giving because you still remember it to this day.

Zig Ziglar said that a person, on the average, will deliver a life changing moment to 3 people/week.  They will influence 3 people/week for the rest of that person’s life.  How much of that is purposeful?  Most likely, very little.  Think about it.  Shift your perspective because you are the catalyst…no one is going to do it for you.  You have to take up the torch and move ahead.