There is a time in life that does not come around very often, when the decision to let some things go is hard. Letting some activities go are considered by some as a failure…and really, what is wrong with that? If we do not eliminate some things in our life that do not have purpose, our lives become cluttered and purposeless because we are not making adequate use of our resources. It all becomes a jumbled mess.
So how do you decide what stays and what to boot? Many things that get voted out may actually be a desire that goes very deep but where is the purpose? Some projects or passions are those that you want to rekindle or feel guilty about not learning them in your past, but are they a catalyst for your purpose or just something to complete to check off of the bucket list?
Many things in life that we have failed at, we try to go back and start again because we have issues with failure. We cannot allow ourselves to fail for some reason. Here is an example of something that I am eliminating:
For many years, I have wanted to learn how to program, learn HTML, maybe even build an app. When I started college (again) about 6 years ago, it was my major. I struggled with it, learned a little at a time, completed a couple of courses and actually got 4 different IT certifications. I built a website, learned how to manipulate it a little and then, after a couple of years of inactivity, I started to brush up on what I had forgotten. I just recently completed my degree in a completely different field of study than computer science and still I feel a sense of failure that I did not get my degree in programming.
As of a couple of weekends ago, after long bouts of inner struggle, I have decided to abandon further education on programming. Why? Because of many reasons:
- There are many people in my life who can do it faster (and cheaper) than I could do it myself.
- It is not my passion, although my passions are not quite refined yet for this time in my life. It is only an interest. I can marvel at other people doing programming well.
- I see that I am just not “wired upstairs” to learn this material at an efficient speed. I can be satisfied with having SOME of the knowledge and be happy that I am not totally ignorant of the programming process.
- I feel that it is taking away from the passions I have, rather than contributing to them.
So back to the question: Why is there still a sense of failure inside rather than just realignment?
It is a word that has developed a reputation from school, business and life.
“You got an F. You failed that class”
“The business failed. It had to be shut down”
“His heart failed and he passed away”
When looking at the meaning of “failure”, the reputation follows it but is not the actual definition.
- lack of success
- when someone does not do something
- someone/something not successful
- when something no longer works
- loss of quality/ability
Ummm…if you look at this list, you can probably fit each of those descriptions into events that happen in one work day. So what is the problem with failure? Putting things in a process, we can see that it is the reaction following that makes the resulting stigma. When you had a lack of success one day at work, did you quit your job? What about when you didn’t do something? Something wasn’t successful? When something didn’t work? When you had a loss of quality or ability? Did you just quit altogether?
The reaction is where the effect is either limited or exaggerated. This is a key factor because it relates to so much in our lives.
Part 2 is developing…