Failure Speaks

I hate you.
When I start your day, I love reminding you of how worthless you are.
Listen to me. No one should listen to you. You have nothing worthwhile to say.
I can find multitudes of reasons why you should not even get up…and I enjoy sharing them with you.
I thrive on your desire for pity. People should feel sorry for you because of your lack of worth.
I can turn the smallest setback into a lifelong issue if you just listen to me.
Remember when your friend looked at you like you didn’t know what you were doing? That was me who told you that they didn’t like you. The funny thing is that I told them to look at you like that to make sure that you didn’t take any more chances.
Remember when your boss asked you to take on that new task? That was me who told you not to do it because you wouldn’t gain anything from it. In fact, I was the one who told your boss not to ask you, but your boss didn’t listen to me.
I sometimes join up with your pride to make sure it doesn’t get damaged. Somebody has to protect it. After all, if you don’t have pride in yourself, you won’t be able to do anything, right?
When it comes down to it, I may be the best friend that you have. I save you from things like embarrassment, sadness, unnecessary responsibility, confrontation and a host of other uncomfortable things.
There is no reason to have uncertainty in your life when I can make your path certain. In fact, some people may even get our names mixed up and call you by my name because you start to have the same effect on them that I do.
That is fine with me. Many follow me because it is just easy to. Life is hard enough without looking for more difficulty.
Come and join me. Pretty soon, you can be just like me.

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Less Stressing, More Blessing

The motto for the day (week, month, year, life). In essence, it means that no matter what is coming at you, focus your energy on the good of others. It goes hand in hand with the quote from Zig Ziglar, “You can get what you want, if you help enough other people get what they want.”

 

Where this statement gets its weight is that we really do not know what we want. We don’t. Really. You may think that you want to be a best selling author or maybe a professional dancer. Maybe you have the dream of having your own successful business or an in-demand speaker.

 

Well, to achieve those goals, you need to:

1. write what others want to read

2. perform the way others will enjoy watching

3. produce something others will buy

4. speak about subjects that others will want to hear

 

Just another way of saying, “It is not about you”. Don’t stress about the things you cannot change, but bless others with what you have to give…and seek to get better at it so you can give better. You will get what you really want by turning the focus away from you.

Learn

Have you ever thought about how you learn?  Now you may think the way most schools taught us is what I am talking about.  For the most part, reading, writing and testing is a good method but is it the most effective for you?

I will be the first to admit that reading is not my strong point and therefore, if I wasn’t able to get step 1 down, the other steps did not fall into place very well.

readingBooks

I read a book a few years ago for a college course that examined learning styles.  It was an active book…you know, those books with questions at the end of each chapter and space for you to write your answer.  Never have liked those kind of books.

So, the course has me study each chapter, one at a time and answer the questions online for only an instructor’s eyes.  I read about learning styles and answered questions that were uncomfortable about myself and submitted them.  While I found out, through this course, what my best method of learning was, something else happened that was momentous.  I read a book that I was just vaguely interested in, from cover to cover.  Yes, it might have been because I was paying money for the course, but it worked.  I learned the object of the course plus so much more.

Now, think about the last time you got really emotional about something.  It can be a time that you were sad, angry, happy or scared.  On the surface, what did you learn?  Was it to not enter into a relationship quickly?  Not to lend money to friends?  That showing your children is more fun than telling?  Maybe not to travel down a certain road over the posted speed limit?

That is on the surface, but ask yourself “Why?” a few times like in my previous post Move.  There is something deeper to be learned there.  For me, in the college course above, I realized that I learn by reading for a set amount of time, taking a break to do something else for a while and then returning to write about it.  I can churn out a top quality college paper afterwards, in no time at all.  But I also learned what was holding me back regarding my failures about reading a book cover to cover; a lesson that has changed the way I operate in life.

Examine the surface and look beneath…there is more.

Learn.

Distractions

Sometimes we just don’t understand why things happen.  You work hard on your marriage, job, house and/or family, believing that you are doing well and then something happens that discourages you and takes you off your chosen path. You may wonder “Why? I was making progress.”  Personally, I get annoyed at the distraction because it usually seems like it’s only purpose is to distract.  If I am not careful, it can affect my focus for a long time.  So what is a guy to do?  Not deal with it and have it repeat itself so that it becomes insurmountable to deal with?  What would you like to see as the outcome?  Get creative here.  It is time to fill a gap and possibly set a habit that will serve you for the rest of your days.

Think to yourself, “If this had not happened, what would I be doing?”  You can look forward and see yourself talking about the event and laughing about it and the lessons learned.  But isn’t it true that distractions happen every day and it is really how we react to them that is important?

Sometimes, it is very simple.  It is so simple that the answer is right under our noses.

Focus.

Yes, I know that we realize that a distraction is taking away from our focus and that we need to refocus but let’s simplify.  Focus. Definition. It is both a noun and a verb.  Putting the two meanings together reads like this:

“Adapt to the prevailing level of light and become able to clearly see the center of interest or activity.”

Its almost like a command.  We understand the last part.  That is the goal.  It is the first part, the verb that we want.  “Adapt to the prevailing level”.

blindingLight

What would happen if your eyes never adapted to light when you walked out of a dark room?  Hands in front of face…eyes hurt.  You can’t see where you are going.  If you don’t watch what you are doing, you may bump into someone, fall and/or get hurt.  Soon you may get discouraged and sit down.  Then, finally, after you understand that your sight is not going to change, what do you do?  You retreat back to the dark room; go backwards to where you came from…and stay there because you did not adapt.

Realize that this stuff not only happens, it happens more than we think and will keep on.  Your GAP to fill is the realization of this and the maturation involved with being unwavering, steadfast and dependable.  There will be some distractions that are larger than others but you grow from them.  Decide to adapt and keep growing.