Attack mode Part 3 – 5 ways to fill the gap

Is there a cure for this inability to move…this choice of sitting that is not laziness but paralysis?

After all, this gap can cause life to stop and end up being more damaged than an action with rejection.

Here are a few ways to take action and fill the gap

  1. Start small.  None of these work unless you take action, so start something towards the event that paralyzes you.  Sometimes the event or goal is urgent that going into attack mode seems like the only way.  Starting small gets the ball rolling and opens up new opportunities that are small successes.
  2. Chunk it down.   This may seem exactly like the first but it has some differences.  This is taking one goal and setting it out into steps.  Attach dates to the steps and whenever you don’t make a deadline, give yourself a verbal warning.  Readjust future deadlines and keep going.
  3. Blindside yourself.  This is actually fun.  Pick something that you know nothing about and get involved with it.  For example, volunteer someplace for short time period a week for an organization that provides a service for certain individuals that cannot help themselves;  something that is bigger than you.  It could be for just 2 hours/week.  Do not think that the organization will not take your help.  Most are appreciative for any they can get.   While you are there, concentrate on doing things to help that are outside of your comfort zone.  It is the key to filling the gap.
  4. Build a quick sales pitch for yourself.  When I heard this one, just 2 days ago, I decided to work on it.  Think of how you introduce yourself when someone asks “What is your name?” and start your QSP (quick sales pitch) on paper.  For example, “My name is ___  ________, and I go all-out to be the best in my field.  My purpose is to serve others to the best of my capacity with integrity and strength, while striving to provide service as if I were regarded as the industry’s best.”   If you actually memorize it, every time you meet someone in person or on the phone, the whole affirmation will come to you and set your course to be your best.
  5. Work it backwards from the visualized goal.  This is one that I believe is not utilized enough.  The ability to take a result and work backwards, step by step, to map your path.  It is where society has gone wrong many times, by not having “cause and effect” thinking.   The ends must justify the means.

These are just a few.  I am sure that there are many.  Please feel free to add more in the comments that have helped you.  If you do, they may help someone else.

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Trust and fear

So I have been on vacation (as you could probably tell) and have not posted for a few days.  I have been working on some other projects and spending time with my family.  This post has been in the incubator for a couple of weeks and brewing during that time.  I am scolding myself in much of it but many of my posts are aimed at myself and you get the brunt of it as well.  Welcome back…it’s therapy time.

I have heard that when analyzing problems, when you get to the 5th “why”, you are probably at the source rather than the symptoms.  Sometimes, habits that are holding us back are sourced by something totally different and deeper.  Just like putting a bandaid on cancer…

Dig a little deeper

Giving

What is your purpose of giving?

I heard once about a professional football player that while he was in college got into an argument with his professor about benevolence.  I believe that the player was Ricky Williams.  The argument was that the professor claimed that people do not give selflessly, they do so to make themselves feel good.  Mr. Williams stood his ground by saying that this was not true.  As is true in most arguments, it was never settled.

So what is your motivation for giving?  Not just money, I am talking about giving.  Is it inherent that you give to give yourself a good feeling or is it a sense of “the right thing to do”?

We give of ourselves, sometimes not knowing of the return but yet we give anyway.  Is it because we know that we will feel better about ourselves afterwards or that we have been convicted to do so and the “feeling better” is a sense of relief?

It probably differs in many cases, but what about in the case of giving where may never see the return even if it happens.  Our society is not able to see this.  They say “What does it matter?  I won’t be here anyway.  Live and let live.  Be wild, be free, it’s all about me”.  But what about your legacy?

I know, legacy, for some people is a strong word.  “Something transmitted by or received from an ancestor or predecessor or from the past”.  So really what does it matter.  It matters because our paradigm needs to shift beyond ourselves.  Truth is that you may be already seeing a return on things done previously.  The return from times of irresponsibility.  The return from days of selfishness.  The return of those “what does it matter?” days.  And even though we can look at those returns and wonder “what if I would have done that differently?”, we should look and say “what now?”

It is like a chess game.  Some people said that great chess players start a game, knowing exactly what moves they are going to make in each circumstance, knowing how their opponent will react to each of their moves.  But the beginning moves are the ones where things are volatile.  Each move that follows, corrals the opponent into their plan until finally victory is achieved.

This is how purpose works.  Direction, calling, destiny.  Each move keeps you moving in a certain direction until victory is achieved.

Giving has a purpose.  Giving of money, time, wisdom, even hugs.  They work towards the ultimate goal of a purpose.  And even though we may have a sense of necessity or a desire for fulfillment, what does that matter?

“Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return.”

It matters that you give.

How are you?

Are you working for your posterity or your posterior?  On Sunday, are you looking at getting to the week…or through the week?  Are you thinking CYA or JOY?

 

Much of how you get things done depends on how your attitude.  I think back to one of my previous posts, The Precedent, and the manager of the restaurant I spoke to.  He was truly grateful and the effect of praising him and his team had a replicating effect as well.  Speaking to him a few weeks later, he said that after I left, he stopped his whole team and told them about it.  He said that this is what they had been striving for…to consistently serve a good product, and he was delighted to share the experience of customer satisfaction.

 

We just do not realize how far our influence goes?  People talk about making a good first impression.  It is sooooooo important.  People form an impression of you before they ever speak to you, if they ever do speak to you.  If you are dressed outside of the norm, your expression and attitude usually have to work harder to maintain a good first impression.

 

Now you may say that you don’t care what other people think of you and to some degree, that may be true.  But….how hard do you want to make life for yourself?  And to change your “first impression rating”, it takes some preparation.

 

I used to listen to and read different authors telling you how to be happy.  It would be a bit comical at times when I would hear them talk about making yourself happy.  It sounded artificial and forced and actually it was.  But it was more like rubbing menthol on sore muscles.  It started on the outside and worked its way in.  Your attitude is affected either by you or your surroundings.

 

Robert D. Smith may not have coined this phrase but when he said it, I remembered it.  He said, “I don’t sing because I’m happy.  I am happy because I sing”.  Sounds kinda dumb, right?  Well that “dumb” habit may mean the difference getting good service and bad.  Having a nice conversation or negative?  Getting a kiss from your spouse or a look?

 

Preparation for life is a part of life.  It is a paradoxical thing that keeps feeding itself and determines really HOW you are…

So…HOW are you?

Guarded

There is an amazing little story, probably a legend, that I read the other day about a guard post in England.  The guard post was set up next to the castle walls and had one guard posted there, kn shifts, 24 hours a day.  The post was not near a gate, door or any sort of entry, but just a guard along a stretch of sidewalk along the fence.  When a tourist asked the sentry what was being guarded, he answered, “I do not know. This post has been here for over 100 years and it is commanded that a sentry is placed here  at all times”.

Sentry

The tourist, amused, decided to find out what the reason for the sentry was.  After asking around for a few days, the answer was revealed.  Over 100 years ago, the Queen of England (at that time), planted roses at that very spot because she felt the walls were too uninviting. She hoped that the climbing roses would cover the walls and fill the air with its sweet scent.  It was commissioned that a sentry be posted there to guard the roses so that they could grow unhindered.  That Queen had since died and so did the roses, but the sentry post had been there ever since, guarding what looked now to be a regular grass-covered plot of ground.

There are things in your life that you hold on to.  Things that you have started and not finished.  Things that are gifts but not a way to make a living.   Things that are guarded but are no longer there.  These can be physical, mental…even spiritual.

They can be things that were started by someone 100 years ago or yesterday but all they do is take up space, time and money;  resources that you have longed to have more of.  It is necessary in life, just as when you re-evaluate a budget that you look at life’s budget and remove the items that are robbing you and your family.  Seek out the sentries that are being wasted and guide them to the places they are needed.

Learn

Have you ever thought about how you learn?  Now you may think the way most schools taught us is what I am talking about.  For the most part, reading, writing and testing is a good method but is it the most effective for you?

I will be the first to admit that reading is not my strong point and therefore, if I wasn’t able to get step 1 down, the other steps did not fall into place very well.

readingBooks

I read a book a few years ago for a college course that examined learning styles.  It was an active book…you know, those books with questions at the end of each chapter and space for you to write your answer.  Never have liked those kind of books.

So, the course has me study each chapter, one at a time and answer the questions online for only an instructor’s eyes.  I read about learning styles and answered questions that were uncomfortable about myself and submitted them.  While I found out, through this course, what my best method of learning was, something else happened that was momentous.  I read a book that I was just vaguely interested in, from cover to cover.  Yes, it might have been because I was paying money for the course, but it worked.  I learned the object of the course plus so much more.

Now, think about the last time you got really emotional about something.  It can be a time that you were sad, angry, happy or scared.  On the surface, what did you learn?  Was it to not enter into a relationship quickly?  Not to lend money to friends?  That showing your children is more fun than telling?  Maybe not to travel down a certain road over the posted speed limit?

That is on the surface, but ask yourself “Why?” a few times like in my previous post Move.  There is something deeper to be learned there.  For me, in the college course above, I realized that I learn by reading for a set amount of time, taking a break to do something else for a while and then returning to write about it.  I can churn out a top quality college paper afterwards, in no time at all.  But I also learned what was holding me back regarding my failures about reading a book cover to cover; a lesson that has changed the way I operate in life.

Examine the surface and look beneath…there is more.

Learn.

Discouragement

It is hard to face discouragement.  When faced with rejection, boredom or failure, your true nature actually shows itself.  Are you moving forward, seeking to move forward or discouraged because “things aren’t happening”?

Everyone loves success.  Things are riding high and emotions are up but what about when things are down.  How do you handle failure?  Do you get discouraged?

Think about this:  what would it take for you to switch your thinking around and respond with excitement every time you fail?

What happens when we fail?

Do we learn?

Think of Thomas Edison and the invention of the light bulb.  Thousands of failed experiments occurred until he hit it right.

 Why?  Because with every failure, he knew he was getting closer to the purpose he had set for himself to accomplish.  And yet sometimes, we have 1 or 2 failures and lose interest.

Why?  Re-examine your purpose and your commitment to it.  Either rededicate yourself to it with a renewed vengeance or redirect.

Your success depends on it.