Hope is a strange thing. You grow up saying “I hope I make the team” or “I hope that I get that job”, but hope can mean so much more and can be applied in many different situations. Looking at the definition of hope, it reads “a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.: ‘he looked through her belongings in the hope of coming across some information’, ‘I had high hopes of making the Olympic team’ and “a feeling of trust’”. Trust, hope, aspiration, expectation and goal are all in the same category, but why do you have such fleeting feelings when it comes to hope?
Is it because, as a child, your hopes were dashed because you did not get what you wanted for Christmas? The sudden absence of a parent or close friend? Promises made and broken? What kinds of disappointments get into your mind and affect your life for years to come? Can you actually take control of those “negative triggers” in your mind?
It is amazing how events piled upon more events, create your personality. Some call it “being shaped by your environment”. How can you take the reigns or wrestle away the control from your environment and move your life in a positive direction?
This is a gap because when hope leaves, there is emptiness. It can be easily filled with the wrong things. It can even be filled with the need for isolation. But if you are wanting to properly fill this gap, it needs to be filled with a “positive”; a habit that does not destroy you, but builds upon you.
Many have filled it with reading the Bible, exercise, writing, learning a new skill, etc., many times to excess, but it all relates to how you deal with failure. If you go in a negative direction after a negative event, you have filled your personal gap but sometimes made it even worse. And many times, that negative direction creates negative attention towards yourself.
Realization of this habit or “gap filling” is half of the answer. When you realize that you are creating a negative pattern by your own actions, you can actually seek to direct your reactions, one by one. Can you direct all of your negative patterns? Probably not, but deciding to do nothing is still a decision and will eventually take you further down the negative pattern. Sometimes, realization is what is needed…with an alternate path waiting to be taken.
Here is an exercise to leave you with. It is not easy and you may struggle with it. Take your negative end result and work backwards from it, numbering each event that led up to it. Look at each event with the possibility of “What would have happened if I would have responded differently?”. The key to this exercise is to be thorough, so just take one event at a time and be honest with yourself.
Afterwards, add a comment, disagree, scream at the blog, whatever…just realize where your reactions take you.